Test your psychic abilities

After ten attempts, your psychic level will be measured. The more answers given, the higher the psyshic measurement accuracy.

Am I thinking of a circle, square or star?

Your psychic level.

Vivienne, my employer and it seems mentor, asked me to come up with a quick method to test psychic ability online.

The above is my initial attempt. (There is, or will be, a more sophistcated test soon).

Picture this. I'm was sitting in my office on Monday, checking the stats on our various servers and so on, when V. marches in.

"We need to expand the number of psychics and clairvoyants available to the business."

"I want to be able to weed out the fakes automatically."

"We need to do this asap ..." She stopped, and looked at me disconcertingly with those strange green eyes of hers.

The short time scale accounts for the slightly unsophisticated psychic test above. (The real version is on one of our witchy servers, and is basically the same but with more frills). As you probably know by now, M o o n f a c e . o r g is where I write about my very, very strange day job.

I worked in a bank. I lost my job. I provide IT support to someone who believes she is a witch.

Life takes some strange turns.

"Tomorrow?!!" I'm used to short timescales due to my previous work in the city (of London) but even so.

"I want to expand our online portfolio of websites dramatically this year."

"There is a lot of money in clairvoyancy, and practitioners with genuine psychic ability are difficult to find."

And no doubt expensive to employ, winning the lottery any time they want, I added mentally and somewhat sourly.

Is it possible for eyes to change colour? Sometimes I could swear that V. reads my mind.

"It doesn't work like that. Gifts can't be misused", followed by a smirk.

And so, I added a quick test of psychic abilities, to one of our websites along with a contact e-mail. There is good money in clairvoyancy, so if you test your pychic abilities and discover that you have some ability, search the internet for our other sites. Presumably with gifts will lead you in the correct direction.

Does this actually test your psychic ability?

If you believe that V. is a genuine clairvoyant and psychic, then the short answer is ...

... no.

Her psychic grading was zero.

I strongly believe that other members of the coven have tried the psychic test, and also discovered that (according to the test), their combined psychic ability was also zero.

I log everything, and following the most recent meeting of the coven book group (a vicious event at the best of times), I checked the log files for activity and ip addresses.

I thought that V. would have been furious with her score. In fact, she just smiled at me indulgently, and said:

"Too literal. The magical world is subtle. Let's try again in a few weeks when you understand more."

So much for my first effort ...

How can you test psychic abilities?

OK, so I've worked for V. for about six months now, and I am yet to be convinced by psychics or clairvoyance in the traditional sense, although I've seen to much' synchronicty to write anything off. Vivienne's explanation, of course, is that I have latent clairvoyant abilities.

Scyring is another matter, and I'm not ready to write about it.

V. wanted me to write a quick way of checking psychic ability, and I did, but apparently something was lacking.

The test is definitely objective, not subjective, and I wonder if that is the problem? If being psychic is based on synchronicty , then is guessing an image randomly chosen by a computer a fair test?

Is that what V. means by 'too literal'? I am a scientist by inclination, and object to subjective tests on principle. If this isn't a fair test of psychic abilities, and I suspect that it isn't, then what form should the modified test take?

I'm writing this late at night, looking into the inky blackness towards the railway line where the shadows live, and wonder if I should try to get a new job, a new life but the words of V. from months ago continue to haunt me.

"That will never happen."

Is our life pre-determined? Is V. genuinely clairvoyant or just particularly intuitve?

I don't know the answers to any of these questions.