I wrote the Latin spell generator for Vivienne (to give her extra gravitas) - not that she found it very funny. Sorry V:(
An IT excuse generator I used to work in the city (of London) in a financial institution laughingly called a bank (dealing in swaps etc if you must know). I used some of these:) It is amazing what you can get away with ...;)
A more general (farfetched) general excuse generator. Some of these might work with V.